Red Neckin’

I darn right ‘ter’ wanna put ‘dat dang tootin’ cuppa’ joe in ‘da’ microwavey.

(I want to microwave my coffee.)

I want to speak redneck, and I try, but to achieve the fluency that I would like, I need to travel to the states. Any suggestions? I think that Texas would have too many Mexicans, and I am terrible at Spanish, but I was told that Missouri would be a good starting place.

It will be a risky trip though, because of all of the back roads and cannibals. (I would be stringy and bony. I have hardly any fat/meat to spare.) I also would be completely unaware of the shooting ranges and their arrangements. Everything with room for a beer can is a shooting range down there, so I am considering investing in some bullet-proof vests and a kevlar body suit-bright orange. My feelings are that I would be found anyways.

Maybe there won’t be food there! That’s why they are always eating people, and practicing shooting and throwing bombs in lakes. That is why they kill everything in their path!

I don’t think that I will be able to prepare…………….

Ummm… When am I getting tickets? Well…. (*Scurries off into closet and puts on mask*) (that didn’t need to make sense.)


About Tabitha

Living in Alaska, working with animal protection. Interests: Dogs, school, ice cream Gender: Female Age: 17 Status: Working on a trip to Turkey.
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