I sure don’t try that any more, but I did at one point, and really felt that I needed to fit in. It was a dire need. There was nothing else more important in my life. NOTHING. This was most of middle school. In elementary I fit in because I was smart and could draw. That was all you needed in grade school. Either that or you had an awesome toy that you let other kids play with. Once I hit sixth grade, I was less than the average jo. I was lamer than the kid that wore sunglasses all the time and picked his nose when he thought nobody was looking. I was lacking in the style department due to the lack of empathy that I clearly needed from OCS. I was also very, very poor in everything else. I had nothing to my name. Except for bad behavior. I was in a special program for people who acted out in class. I wasn’t face-booking people, even if they deserved it, but I would just sit and not do anything. And cry. Only in math class or gym though. I hated gym, I hated math. I was depressed and the next easiest escape was crying, I guess. That was my thing. (I was a stinkin’ ass hole on top of it, if you managed to get me to talk.)
What I do now to fit in, is I don’t try. I keep to myself for the most part, and I do what I like, not what I’m supposed to like. For example, I do not want to buy Uggs, for they are the ugliest things to consider putting on your body in America. I do not want to wear Aeropostale or American Eagle because the clothes are amazingly bland for how expensive they are. I also do not want to run around with five boyfriends and brag about sex and drugs.
I want to get out of high school, get into college, get a nice career, and be able to retire when I want to. So, if I were to try to fit in with the people I go to school with, I would be required to smoke pot and cigarettes, and drink alcohol. WAY OVER-RATED. I don’t think that I would be up to the deal anyways. It’s too hard to sneak around and stuff. It has proved easy to do what I’m supposed to do and be healthy. Being in trouble is stressful…
I’m bored of this subject now, and I will move on into another post. Thank you for reading, and have a nice day. 🙂